You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize