i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
