People in love make me want to vomit
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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