I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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