What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I enjoy the company of your penis
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
