It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
