I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
