you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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