idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
