apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
