Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
A bitchslap is in order.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
