After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The Olympian is in my bed