he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We left the knife in your bed.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.