I am in a vortex of obligation.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
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i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
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I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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