I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".