The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
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I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
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You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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