i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head