Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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