Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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