You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend