Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.