Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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