im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Even my vagina gasped.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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