I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
