I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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