Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
