everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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