i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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