I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
