mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He? As in you personified your dick?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
