I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
