Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
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I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
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I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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