super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
