I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
