Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
