I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
