Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
