Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
