I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
