The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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