I love black thongs
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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