i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
