Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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