"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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