guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
