Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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