best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
