She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize