I think I won the penis lottery.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
