my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize