she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
