this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
