watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
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the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Pooping to opera.
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