either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
