U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
