She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
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Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
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But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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