Your tits are I can't wait for
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This is the high leading the old right now
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
