yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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