You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
