Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
