i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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