My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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