That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
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She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
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My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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