he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
